The Nesting Doll Concept: Exposing and Validating Every Self
You may recall this 1973 clip from Sesame Street from when you were a child. The vintage clip portrayed Russian Nesting Dolls teaching us how to count to 10. One by one, the larger nesting doll would open to reveal a smaller version underneath. This video continued on and on until all 10 had been revealed. There they were, standing in a nice little row, largest to smallest.
Cinnamon, being the wizard of metaphors that she is, had an epiphany while attempting to explain how childhood experiences can still affect us as adults. She gracefully wove the story of those Sesame Street nesting dolls she recalled from her own childhood into a detailed description of how we carry our experiences of childhood into our adulthood, even if at the time they seemed insignificant or we have a more mature perspective on them today.
Now, picture yourself as a set of these nesting dolls, each one nestled within the other. It's a metaphor that beautifully captures the aging versions of ourselves we grow and navigate life. Similarly, they can be seen as learned “protective layers” developed in response to childhood adversity, concealing our innermost selves.
Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
Before we explore the metaphor, let's look at exactly what ACEs are. These adverse experiences include abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction to which children can be exposed. Since the original research, additional adversities have been identified such as bullying, community violence, and neighborhood safety. In our exploration, we have noticed how even adversity resulting from being loved and taken care of, along with the more traumatic ACEs may have lasting imprints on our well-being. Research shows that these experiences can echo through our lives, shaping our behaviors and responses, oftentimes to our own detriment. Cinnamon and Erin delve into the often overlooked yet profoundly impactful realm of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) over the course of three episodes of After the Tones Drop. Cinnamon emphasizes the importance of understanding one’s ACEs, even when individuals may not overtly recognize or label them as such. These experiences, she argues, weave into the very fabric of our brain development, casting a long shadow that extends into our adult lives.
In recognizing the adversity we face in our youth, we see how they can be likened to a string that connects past events to our current thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Whether the string is short or long, direct or indirect, it remains woven into the intricate tapestry of our existence. Erin and Cinnamon stress the relevance of this understanding, debunking the notion that the past is immutable. Despite our inability to time-travel and change events, or as Cinnamon likes to say, “hop into the DeLorean,” the duo suggests that altering our perspective on past experiences can pave the way for healing and growth.
Growing and Layering: How Those Dolls End Up In There
As we grow and mature, we bring ideas about how to keep ourselves physically and emotionally safe into the next evolution of ourselves. These self-protecting lessons are derived from our adverse experiences and the way they force us to learn to deal with the world in ways far beyond our development, skill and know-how. These layers are synonymous with the versions of ourselves that exist(ed) at the time of the adverse experience. These layers of protection become coping mechanisms to shield ourselves from further harm. These coping skills manifest in our habits, relationships, and perceptions of ourselves and the world around us. The more adversity we face, the more intricate the layered, hardened shells become and the more ingrained becomes the belief that people and the world can be unsafe.
Unveiling Our Younger Selves: A Journey of Rediscovery
Within these layers lie our younger selves, waiting to be rediscovered. It's not an easy journey—stories of vulnerability, courage, and resilience unfold as individuals peel back or open up to reveal the protective layers that connect with and heal their inner child. Once we are able to understand how and when certain beliefs and behaviors originated, or were reinforced, we can see how the division between “what we feel and what we know” operates. What we feel is based on the younger version of ourselves experienced compared to what our own logic tells us as adults. We can know that we are loved, yet feel unlovable.
Breaking the Mold: Strategies for Self-Discovery and Healing
How do we break through these protective layers? How do we overcome these earlier versions of ourselves that operate our knee jerk behaviors? Our podcast explores strategies for self-discovery and healing. Through interviews with experts and individuals who have successfully navigated this process, we unravel practical steps to embrace our authentic selves.
Peeling Back the Layers: A Call to Action
As we conclude, consider this a call to action. Choosing to explore how our past impacts our present, revealing the smaller nesting dolls, we acknowledge the presence of the younger versions of yourself in our current life. This is a journey of self-discovery. It's within these layers that the raw, authentic truest selves can be found. Not the version that reacts out of trauma and fear, but rather, leans into safety and ability to choose how to handle the present moment based on the facts of the moment and how we decide we want to behave.
Join the Conversation: Listener Stories and Insights
We invite you to join the conversation. Share your experiences and questions related to this topic. You can easily share through our social media platforms on Facebook , Instagram and TikTok or contact us through our website. Your stories may resonate with others, fostering a community of support and understanding.
Join us in the next episode of "After the Tones Drop" as we continue to unravel the experiences that shape our lives. Until then, keep revealing those layers and embracing the beauty of your authentic self.
